Love. A four letter word with so many images associated with it. Roses, chocolates, hearts, teddy bears, Valentine's Day. After all, Valentine's Day was the day when people expressed their love for each other. Personally, she felt that Valentine's Day had lost its true meaning and had simply become a way for capitalist economies to gain money while exploiting people's emotions. Yet that was all irrelevant. She shook her head, scolding herself for thinking about those trivial thoughts when she should have been thinking about her mission. She walked across the graveyard as if guided by an old memory, and finally found the tombstone she was looking for. She whispered the words etched in the rock- "Love will always triumph." She knelt, kissed the headstone, and prayed that her mission would be successful.
3 years earlier
She was walking back from school, thinking thoughts that made her blush, when she felt someone watching her. She turned around, looking for the culprit, but only saw a frail old woman, pushing along a cart towards a decrepit looking bus shelter. She turned around, chiding herself for being so nervous, and continued on her journey. But still felt that someone was following her. She turned around, but saw no one. She began to walk faster, and would have gladly started running if not for the ice that was covering the streets of Moscow.
She heard light footsteps behind her. Throwing caution to the wind, she began to run. The cold took her breath away from her, and within minutes she was doubled over, gasping for breath. She sat down on the curb, hoping that her mother wouldn't scold her for getting her only school dress wet (after her father had died, her mother couldn't afford to buy more than one school uniform for her), when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
She shuddered, not wanting to turn around and see who was behind her. She had heard stories of girls who would mysteriously disappear, only to turn up as dead, or worse, as a prostitute. Her mother had specifically told her not to walk home alone as the days waned, but had Ana listened? Of course not. Now she wished she had. At least she had listened to her mother on one thing. She grabbed the homemade pepper spray that her mother had put in the pocket of her dress, feeling for the top so that she could attack whoever had dared touch her.
"Ana, it's me, Nikolai."
Ana stood up and turned around, keeping her hand on her pepper spray the whole time in case it wasn't Nikolai. She was startled when she saw him. True, he was only a year older than her (he was seventeen to her sixteen) and went to the same school she did, but girls and boys never mixed in her school-the teachers made sure of that. She hadn't seen him for a very long time, and was surprised at the transformation he had undergone. Instead of the awkward young boy she had known, she was looking at a tall, handsome teenager, whose blue eyes (which had previously been hidden by chunky glasses) and brown hair made him look like one of the models she had seen on a billboard.
"Hey, Ana, sorry to have scared you. I thought you had grown up by now, but apparently not," he teased, mussing her hair.
"Don't touch my hair! And Mr. Nikolai, I'm only a year younger than you. No need for such an attitude," Ana retorted, secretly pleased that Nikolai had finally decided to rekindle their friendship. Rumor had it that he was one of the biggest players in the school, and for a while, he was so concerned with keeping his "reputation" that he had forgotten about everything else-her.
"Alright loser, let's get you home before your mother gets worried. I need to meet Auntie Dana as well."
Ana gasped. First of all, Nikolai lived on the other side of town, second of all, he hadn't been to her house in almost 3 months, and even then it was only for 5 minutes, and third of all, it was starting to get dark. The streets of Moscow at night were the places of nightmares.
The two hurried back to Ana's house, which was located in one of the poorer neighborhoods of Moscow. True, there were many people below them, but that didn't stop Ana for wishing that her father had saved some money instead of spending it all on cards and whiskey. All through her walk she kept thinking of the person behind her. Nikolai Solstov. She was glad that it was dark and he couldn't see her face. She couldn't tell him that he was in her thoughts every day, that every time she saw him with another girl, she would feel the jealousy ripping through her heart. She couldn't tell him that her one wish had always been that that he would one day--no she couldn't tell him anything. They finally reached her house, and Ana wondered what her mother would think when she saw him.
"Mama, I'm home," yelled Ana, hoping that her mother had returned from the factory.
"Mama?" asked Ana timidly, noting the odd feeling in the air.
She turned to Nikolai, who put her hand in his, and whispered in her ear, "Something's wrong. Auntie Dana has the ears of a fox. She would have heard you."
Ana allowed herself to be led around the house. She wasn't in their dingy living room or the tiny bedroom that they shared. When Nikolai entered the kitchen, he gasped. On the floor was Auntie Dana. With a knife through her heart. Attached to the paper was a note:
"You stupid Chechens, leave Russia for the Russians."
Ana heard someone scream before she fell to the ground.
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"Ana. Ana! Are you okay? Are you okay?"
Ana opened her eyes and saw an anxious face looking down at her. She blinked and realized that it was Nikolai. He smiled weakly, his eyes betraying his thoughts. He's confused too Ana thought, realizing that she'd never expected to see such a reaction from him. With a start she remembered what happened. Where was she now? She looked up at Nikolai and saw his lips moving.
"I carried you and all your things out of your house, and called my driver and asked him to pick us up. Mom said you can stay here as long as you need to. I'm going to eventually kick you out of my room, but for tonight you can have it," said Nikolai, blushing slightly at the end.
Ana smiled back weakly, "You're the best. I love yo-your room," stumbled Ana, hoping that he hadn't realized what she had meant to say. With a pang of jealousy she noted the the picture on his bedside table. It was a silver frame, with the word "Love", in bold, black letters. He was on a boat, standing next to a tall brunette, his arm casually placed around her waist. He saw her looking at the picture and groaned. "Dammit. Missed another one. Clearly I wasted too many pictures on her. Remind me to the burn the frame later." He pulled the picture out of the frame and ripped it up, throwing into the trash.
"Yell if you need me Ana. Good Night." He leaned over, as if he wanted to say something to her, and decided against it, switching off the light and leaving Ana to her own thoughts.
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2:47. That's what the clock on his bedside table said.
Ana tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep but failing miserably. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the same picture. Her mother, lying on the kitchen floor with a knife through her heart. A knife with a note. The note. "Leave Russia for the Russians." She considered herself Russian even though both her parents were Chechens. Everyone she knew was from Chechyna. Even Nikolai. True, the Chechens hadn't been the most diplomatic when it came to negotiations with the Russians, but neither had the Russians. There would be no compromise in this issue. Either Chechnya would become its own nation or it would stay under the influences of Russia. Was war imminent?
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Someone was roughly waking her up. "Wake up Ana! Wake up! Loser, come on, wake up!" She squinted, shielding her eyes from the bright sun that was streaming in through the windows.
"Loser! Get UP! We're going to be late!" She blinked. Nikolai was sitting on her bed with a tray in his hands.
She reluctantly sat up, trying to figure out exactly how much sleep she had gotten the night before. 2 hours, 3 hrs max? She looked up at Nikolai, and saw his lips moving.
"And about school today, are you sure you want to go? I mean, if you want, we could just cut."
"Cut? As in skip school? Nikolai Solostov, are you insane?"
Skipping school was only one spot higher on the list of terrible things to do than prostitution. The teachers at the Muscovite Preparatory Academy would publicly humiliate anyone they found cutting school. Ana saw her friend go through the public humiliation, spending hours on her knees in the cold cafeteria, having to see the looks of disgust and shock on the faces of her peers, the older students, and the younger kids. Ana had vowed that she would never skip school for any reason, but it was looking quite tempting at the moment.
"Well, you know, after what happened yesterday, I kinda assumed that you didn't want to go to school. But we can go if you want." He looked slightly crestfallen.
Ana thought about it. She remembered that while Nikolai spent more time out of school than he did in school (he probably spent more time sleeping than he spent in school), he was never once humiliated. And spending a day with Nikolai, even if it meant having to suffer through the public humiliation (which would probably also be with him) wouldn't be too terrible. She thought about her mother and her lack of sleep.
"Fine. Only this once." Nikolai broke into a grin, a stupid, silly lopsided grin that would have looked like a grimace on anyone else but somehow managed to look spectacular on him. How he managed to do that was one of the 10 great secrets of the world.
"Mom, we're leaving. We'll be back at 5," Nikolai told his mother, who didn't even look perturbed by the fact that her son was skipping school.
"Don't get into too much trouble, Nik. Ana, look after him, will ya?" Nikolai's mother winked at Ana as she said that.
They left the house together, walking around the streets of Moscow with the gait of two children who's mission was to explore the city to the fullest. They first stopped at Nikolai's favorite cafe, where they stopped to have hot chocolate and split a slice of rich chocolate cake.
"So," Ana said teasingly, "since when has your nickname been Nik? I thought your nickname was 'egoistical, self-centered player'".
He actually looked hurt, "I'm not egoistical, I'm not self-centered, and I am most definitely not a player. Nik's just what my close friends and family call me. When the right girl comes along, she can call me Nik too."
"Define 'right girl' please".
"She has to be intelligent, funny, cute, pretty, but most importantly, she has to be someone that I can talk to about anything and everything."
"Um, anything else? Five foot two inches, size 8 shoes, favorite color blue?"
"Alright Ana, what do you look for in a guy?"
"Most importantly, I should be able to depend on him and talk to him about everything. Nothing else really matters."
"Aah, so he could be the ugliest, crudest, and revolting man, and you would still love him?"
"NIK, it's not funny. Seriously, I highly doubt that the 'crudest man' and I would be able to talk about everyhing."
"Well good luck with that. I don't know anyone like that. And I know everyone."
His last statement made Ana realize how lucky she was to be friends with him, how lucky she was to be with him at that moment. She had no else in Moscow. True, her aunts and uncles were still alive, but they lived in the outskirts of Moscow, farming during the seasons that they could, and working in the factories during the other times. She knew that times were tough for them, but probably more importantly, they disapproved of the way she had been raised. According to them, girls should have been married when they were 12 and then left to have babies, preferably boys. After that, they would be responsible for cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, shopping for groceries, etc etc. Ana shuddered at the thought of having to do that. Thank god her mother had enrolled her in school.
She felt a pang in heart. Had she said "I love you" to her mom the day of her death? Had she given her a kiss?
A hug? Had she said "thank you" for all the things her mother did to help her go to school? She couldn't remember.
"Ana. ANA. Where are you?"
Ana blinked back into reality, seeing Nik's distressed face.
"Ana, one of my teachers is here. At the cafe. Please, please can we go now?"
Ana dumbly nodded as Nik pulled her out of her chair and pushed her through the door. Grasping her hand in his, he ran. After a few minutes, he stopped.
"Sorry about that. It's just that well she hates me and if she sees me cutting with you, she would hate you too."
Ana nodded, sitting down on the curb and hoping that Nik wouldn't notice the tears forming in her eyes.
"Ana. ANA. Look at me."
By this time, Nik was sitting next to her on the curb. Ana noticed the little scars that were riddled up and down his arms. She shuddered involuntary, trying not to imagine how he had acquired all those scars.
Nik saw her looking at his scars, and laughed. "Ana, don't worry about it. I got them when I got into a fight with some boys from school."
"Who?' Ana was not capable of speaking in full sentences just yet.
"Oh just Gosha and Sergei," he said nonchalantly.
Gosha and Sergei were the two scrawny little twelfth graders. How could he have gotten hurt fighting them?
As if answering her question he said,"They both had knives in their hands.Gosha had brass knuckles as well"
Snapping out of her reverie, Ana almost screamed,"You are an idiot. Why did you pick a fight with them? To impress a girl? IDIOT."
What came next almost surprised her. "It was to protect this girl I knew. Those two were making fun of her because she was Chechen. I told them that because she was Chechen she was worth 10 times what they were worth. They got angry, called me a stupid Chechen, and pulled out their knives. I happened to have Swiss army knife, and so I fought. Remind me to teach you knife fighting alright?" Grinning his stupid grin, he pulled Ana up. "Let's go home. Mom'll get worried."
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3:00 AM
Ana looked at his watch and thought about what he had said today. He had said that his perfect girl was someone who was intelligent, funny, cute, pretty and someone that he could talk to about anything and everything. Well, she was intelligent and they were talking about a lot of things, but funny, cute, pretty? Not at all. She heard raised voices, and crawled out of bed, trying not to step on the creaky panel in the creaky wood floor.
"She has to go. Your father's been getting death threats because of her."
"Mom, I want her here. She can't go."
"Nikolai, you're putting her safety above your father's. Why?"
She heard a gasp.
"Nikolai, have you been fighting?"
"Mom, after dropping Ana off this afternoon, I went out to get the bread like you told me to. On the way, I meet Gosha and Sergei, two boys I had earlier gotten into a fight with."
"Wait, why did you get into the earlier fight with them?"
"Because they said something bad about Ana and the fact that she was Chechen."
Ana couldn't believe it. He had done it for her? What? That didn't even make any sense.
"Okay and so they stabbed you today to get revenge for you beating them up?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"Nikolai, I can't let you put your safety and your father's safety in danger because of that girl."
"Mom, we're also Chechens. The only reason we haven't been killed yet is because Dad is a general in the army, and a very respected one at that. It could easily have been you instead of Auntie Dana in that house. I'm not letting her go. Especially not to her aunts and uncles, where they'll marry her off or take her to the middle of nowhere, where I won't be able to see her."
"Nik, th-"
"Good Night Mom."
He stomped of brusquely, making his way to his room. Ana almost didn't have time to pull the covers over her when Nikolai came to his room. Her head was still reeling from everything he had said. For her? He had gotten stabbed for her? Why? Why why why would he do such a dangerous thing for her?
"Ana get up. I know you heard the entire thing."
Ana muttered a few expletives under her breath and got up. Nikolai looked terrible. There were dark circles underneath his eyes, and there was a large bandage on his arm. She looked up, pleading with Jesus that he wasn't mortally injured. As if reading her thoughts he began to unravel the bandage, exposing a large knife wound. It wasn't bleeding at that moment, but the blood-stained bandage told a different tale.
"Ana, I'm sorry for her behavior. She's just worried for Dad. She can't imagine life without him. I mean, they've been together since she was sixteen and he was seventeen."
Ana's next action surprised them both. She picked up a pillow and pummeled Nik with it.
"Don't. you. ever. do. something. that. stupid. again. " whispered Ana, between hits.
Nik was laughing, "Alright alright, only because you might kill me instead." With that he grimaced, looked up at Ana to see if she had noticed, and then quickly smiled, trying to cover up the pain he felt.
Ana wasn't fooled.
"Nik, get up and go to bed. You're tired and you're hurt. Go now."
"But you're in my bed."
"Fine. I'll sleep on the floor. You get the bed." And with that, Ana deftly picked up the only comforter in the room and made herself a bed on the floor.
"Good night stupid."
"Good night, loser."
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